Neurodiverse Couples

Who Are They?

Neurodiverse couples are those in which one or both partners have a neurodivergent profile, such as ADHD, autism, or AUDHD.

In some relationships, one partner may have an ADHD profile while the other has an Autism profile. In others, one partner may be neurotypical while the other is autistic. There are many variations of neurodiverse couples, and each brings its own unique dynamics. Regardless of the combination, these couples can experience challenges that might be less common in relationships where both partners are neurotypical.

Common Challenges

Communication

Neurodiverse couples often feel like they’re speaking different languages. They can be more prone to misunderstandings, misreading each other’s intentions, or interpreting body language and facial expressions differently. These differences can make communication more challenging, even when both partners deeply care for and want to understand each other.

Emotional Intimacy

Neurodiverse couples may sometimes experience challenges with emotional intimacy. Autistic partners, in particular, might find emotional reciprocity more difficult. Often, each partner’s emotional needs differ—one might be comfortable with less sharing of feelings, while the other may crave more emotional closeness. Understanding and navigating these differences is key to building connection.

Shared Interests

In some relationships, one partner may have a special interest that takes up a lot of their time and energy—something the other partner doesn’t share. In other cases, one partner might enjoy going out and socializing, while the other prefers quiet evenings at home, perhaps due to sensory sensitivities or social anxiety. These differences can create challenges, but they also offer opportunities for understanding and compromise.

Need Support?

  • Together we can identify obstacles that may stem from neurological differences. It is important to differentiate our partner’s and our own motivations and behaviors that are not intentional.

  • After identifying challenges that are neurologically rooted, we can then work educate, understand, and reframe the differing ways of communication through a neurological framework.

  • Sometimes, years of conflict and miscommunication leave deep wounds that take time to heal. In a safe space, we can gently work through the pain and grow with a new understanding of the relationship.

  • Through collaboration, we will create practical strategies and develop both you and your partner’s skills. Our ultimate goal is to reduce misunderstandings and deepen your connection.

Katherine Sciacca is currently in the processing of getting certified to work with neurodiverse couples through Association for Autism and Neurodiversity (AANE).